FUTURE BLACKMAIL DIARY – Sure, you could use this tiny diary to jot down grocery lists and inspirational quotes… but let’s be honest, it’s way more fun to document suspicious behavior, embarrassing quotes, and all the dirt you might need later. You know, just in case. Measuring only 2.75” x 3.75”, this journal may be small—but it holds big secrets. With 112 gilded-edge pages, it’s the perfect place to keep receipts (figurative or literal), plot mild revenge, or simply record your chaotic brilliance.

VINTAGE-INSPIRED – Don’t be fooled by its innocent looks. This little book may resemble something sweet and nostalgic, but it’s ready to be weaponized with passive-aggressive poetry and ominous bullet points. The design is timeless, the energy is unhinged. We love that for you.

HIGH QUALITY – Featuring gold gilded edges, a sturdy cover, and 112 pages of premium paper, this pocket journal is as well-made as your next elaborate scheme. It’s petite, polished, and perfect for jotting down things no one should remember but you definitely will.

PERFECT FOR GIFTING – Great for your most observant friend, your most chaotic sibling, or honestly… yourself. Whether they’re full of drama or just great at documenting it, this diary makes a hilarious and stylish gift. Bonus points if you pre-fill a few pages with cryptic notes.

BRASS MONKEY – We’re the perfect mix of kitschy and classy—think roadside souvenir meets art museum gift shop. At Brass Monkey, we design clever stuff for people with great taste and questionable judgment. This diary is no exception.